AUTHORITY RELATIONSHIPS - CONFLICT
Scripture Reading - James 4:17 KJV
Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
Recently we have been studying “Relationships” among various people. We have looked at “Surface Relationships” for those you only know on a surface level (common general information). We have also reviewed “Ministry Mode” for those people you help as unto the Lord expecting nothing in return. We have also looked at “Business Mode” for those relationships in which it is nothing personal just strictly mutual benefit. We have taught on “Employee Mode” which speaks to benefitting the company as a representative of Christ Jesus for the good of all people. In one lesson we spoke about "Honoring Authoritative Relationships” because they are God ordained. We have taught on “submitting” to those over you in an “Authoritative Relationship” when you disagree with your leader’s decision. In this lesson we will speak on handling conflict between your conscience and obeying an Authority figure. In the lesson about “Authoritative Relationships – Submission” we stated it is better to submit to your leader even when you disagree with their decision, as long as you don’t commit a sin. In this lesson we will expound upon some differences between when to submit and when not to. There are some cases where submitting may not be the right decision even when a physical sin is not the key issue. This gray area is due to the very real fact that there are sins of omission just as there are sins of commission. Sins of commission is when you actually perform the act of sin. The times when you know in your heart you shouldn’t do something wrong in the sight of God and you do it anyway. However, sins of omission is when you don’t do something you know you should do. Like, speak up for someone who you know is being falsely accused. The reason we (ihlcc) bring this up is because there may be times when you and your “authority relationship” may be totally on different pages on what should be done next and they need you to do make a decision to move forward with their plan. We will give some examples for reference: The boss needs you to stay late because something needs to go out tomorrow but you know the kids need to be picked up at 6:00 PM. Staying late is a direct conflict with your personal plans to be there for your children. What is the right decision? First every person must prioritize their life to make the decision easier. For us (ihlcc) the priority is God’s Word first, God’s Love second, spouse third, job and children fourth, self-preservation fifth, extended family six and then entertainment seventh. This order is pretty consistent in our everyday life because we all need a foundation to build upon. God’s Word always settles the issue in our household without any argument. However, God’s Love is second solely because His Love is understood and interpreted by God’s Word. Our spouse is a major part of us (our self – let the two become one in marriage) so it is better to keep unity with your spouse as a major priority in your life. An explanation for why the children and job are grouped together is because the job is typically there before the children are on the scene and the job will still be there after the children leave your home. Yes, both are important, so generally speaking Angela (the woman) puts more emphasis on the children, whereas Eric (the man) puts more emphasis on the job. Surely, each child of God must make their own commitment to the Lord and other immediate family members according to the will of God in their life. Self-preservation comes in at number four because there are times when you just need to take care of yourself both spiritually, mentally and physically. If you don’t set aside some time (a balanced portion of your time) for just you there will be a void in your heart that is susceptible to unhappiness. This is the primary reason you never want to place your extended family’s needs ahead of your own heart. Doesn’t the Holy Bible teach that you must be willing to forsake all (including family) to follow Christ. Once you have established your prioritizes in life good entertainment (leisure, travel, simple pleasures) should follow. Restful, relaxing pleasures are never to be ignored because God created all these earthly blessings for you to enjoy while you are on the earth. The problem only comes when men and women put pleasure ahead of loving people. Thus, we will return to our first example since we are now equipped with a good foundation of priorities. We (ihlcc) cannot speak for you but Angela would be there for the children no questions asked, she would tell her boss she cannot stay and suffer the consequences. Eric, on the other hand, would probably inform Angela that I need to stay late at work and I will have to make it up to the children. Thus, I would suffer the consequences of my decision also but in a different way. Example 2 – The wife doesn’t want the children to play football but the husband thinks it is OK. The conflict is she thinks with all her heart that the children are too young and they will get hurt. This is big deal not to be taken lightly because unity of love and peace of mind are at stake in the household. Knowing that the spouse is at a higher level of authority in your life than the children and football isn’t mentioned in the Word of God it would be wise to consult each child and ask them what they want to do fully understanding the risk. Then if she were a woman of faith she could pray to the Lord and listen to exactly what He would have her to do. In this case it may be just submit to Him (The Lord) by casting the whole care upon Him (Jesus) so that she can keep peace in the household between her husband and her child (if the child really wants to play). She can always believe God to keep the children safe during practice and the games. Yes, keep all the children safe as a part of her daily confession and prayer. What about a young adult wanting to marry someone who their parents don’t agree with for their marriage partner. Again, start with the foundation. Do parents have a position of authority in your life. If you are living with them, definitely yes. If you are out on your own the authority level is vastly different. Are you sensing peace in your heart when thinking of this potential spouse? Is the peace you are feeling coming from the inside where God is the source or is it more of a mental peace because he makes you happy? The young adult must decide if they are following God’s Will for their life or following someone else’s will for their life. This decision will determine the outcome for what is right to separate out what is wrong. We (ihlcc) have seen it work both ways. Therefore know that there are times of “Conflict with Authoritative Relationships” but God always makes a way of escape (a way out) if you are looking to Him for the right solution. In making those grey area decisions always follow God’s peace once you have the wisdom of God for your specific situation. We wish we could tell you to always do this or that but there is no substitute for knowing and following God’s Way (His voice and His inner witness). So acknowledge Him (The Lord Jesus) in all your ways (decisions during times of conflict) and He shall direct your paths. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God they are the children of God. Amen!